Though we go to the polls only once a year, in a free country, every day is "election day." Through our individual choices, our individual actions, and our individual sense of commitment, we collectively drive our nation into the future.

Recognizing that we are ultimately responsible for the actions of our country, the members of Peaceful Tomorrows will continue to promote U.S. foreign policy that places a priority on internationally-recognized principles of human rights, democracy, and self-rule.

Acknowledging the dangerous shortcomings of America's narrow, militaristic responses to terrorism, we will continue to encourage a multilateral, collaborative effort to bring those responsible for the September 11, 2001 attacks to justice in accordance with the principles of international law.

We will call attention to all threats to civil liberties, human rights, and other freedoms in the U.S. as a consequence of war and our government's responses to terrorism, recognizing that it is our duty to defend those principles in our own lives and in our own communities.

We will continue to promote dialogue with the public on issues of war and peace, including alternatives to war and the underlying causes of terrorism, recognizing the necessity for honest debate and the power of one-on- one communication.

We will redouble our support for people around the world who are seeking non-violent responses to all forms of terrorism, recognizing that our mutual success will benefit us and future generations everywhere.

And most of all, we will continue to acknowledge our fellowship with all people affected by violence and war, recognizing them as brothers and sisters in a human struggle that transcends politics, nationality or religious affiliation and is central to our continued co-existence.

In a free society, we are all responsible for the actions our leaders take. Today, and every day, we acknowledge our individual responsibility to lead our leaders toward creating the society in which we want to live: a society that lives up to the promises of our Constitution, honors the members of our families who were murdered on September 11th, and remembers all people who continue to experience terror, fear, violence and death as a result of September 11th.

--September 11th Families for Peaceful Tomorrows

What I Have Learned
Since September 11th, 2001
Orlando Rodriguez

This reflection was offered on September 10th 2004 at Fordham University, Rose Hill Campus, at the service commemorating Fordham alumni victims of the September 11th, 2001 bombings.

One year ago, three months ago, I would not have been able to stand before you to talk about my son Greg’s death on September 11th, 2001. I am glad I can now and I thank many of you for all the support you gave me that makes this possible.

I am a professor. I teach criminology, so I teach about the causes of violence. Like many criminologists, I don’t believe in the death penalty, but our job as teachers is not to convince you of that, but to give you the intellectual tools by which you can make your own ethical judgments. But I don’t come here as a professor, ready to analyze the social causes of violence. I come here to speak you as a member of our community.

Greg Rodriguez was 32 when he died, while working on the 103rd floor of Tower 1. Many of you may recognize your brothers in his life. Ambitious, outgoing, hard-working, a good brother to his sister, a good husband, a good son. He had been married for a year - his second marriage - when he died. Although his first marriage dissolved, Greg loved the product of that marriage, his now 13 year old son. He kept a deep bond with him, a bond from which my wife and I immensely benefitted.

Greg had everything going for him - a loving wife, a promising career, plans for having children. He enjoyed his work, scuba diving, rock and salsa, cooking gourmet meals. He made friends easily yet kept his old friends, some of these friendships going back to elementary school.

If one thinks of the phrase "innocent victim", he was the perfect example. He disliked violence and saw through the posturing, self-hatred and unhappiness that is the background to violence. So his death, like those of so many others, seemed the result of crazy, distorted thinking, and therefore unthinkable, hurting even more.
A bleak picture. Yet I can tell you that much good has resulted from his death. I would gladly trade of all this good for having him back, but in the impossibility of that trade, I want to tell you how I have learned this simple lesson.

I have learned that it is possible to live two lives - an outside life where you are and look ok - teaching, running a department, joking with colleagues - and a companion life of turbulence, where you brood over your losses. Over time you come to manage your two lives, so that you can be sad but not unhappy, enjoy life but within a reservoir of darkness.

How is this possible? How can you live two contradictory lives without becoming schizophrenic? By trying to learn how I fit into the joys and sufferings of others, by reflecting on the pain they have and the comfort that they bring me.

I have learned that it is possible to make deep friendships with those who come to your help in grief - colleagues, priests, students.

I have learned that my wife and I now have relationships with our family, our daughter-in-law’s family, our friends, that would have taken decades to develop had not our son died.

I have learned that you and I have at Fordham priests, sisters and brothers who live their faith. They reached out to my family, opened their arms, opened Fordham’s doors, and brought us sorely needed comfort.

I have learned that men have a lot to learn from women, that many women instinctively know how to deal with pain in a way not open to most men. Without them, my pain would have been harder to bear, and they taught me, I hope, to offer help to others in pain, and to view that as what a man does.

I have learned that Greg’s suffering, my family’s suffering, is part of the suffering of millions of people. Many who have reached out to me, students among them, suffer, and it’s hard to measure whose suffering is greater. I was helped by being able to listen to students who told me of their pain, and whom I was able to comfort.

I have learned that just as I have joined the suffering of others, we as a people have common bonds with victims in other lands - civilian and military. There are many Greg Rodriguezes all over this world: Palestinian and Israeli, Irish Catholic and Protestant, Russian and Chechen, Spanish and Basque, and yes, Iraqi and Afghan civilians who have died through our government’s actions. I have learned to equate their suffering with Greg’s.

I have learned that I can think about Greg’s killers without anger boiling inside me. His killers were five or six young men (Greg looked a lot like a few of them). Men who were so angry, so blinded by beautiful-sounding dreams about a better world coming for their people, that other human beings - the passengers on that plane, Greg and his co-workers - meant nothing to them, were less than human. I have been often tempted to think that these young men themselves became inhuman by what they felt and did. But I’m glad to say that I see them as human beings, as human as you, me, my son, deserving of what they themselves destroyed - life.

I have learned that as we left a mad century of mutual violence, and as we continue this madness in our current century, peace-making becomes less and less of a utopian pipe-dream and more and more of a logical necessity - the only way in which we can prevent increasing mutual violence and our mutual destruction.

I have learned that my belief in the possibility of peace, is not just intellectual, that it has been tested by personal tragedy, and it is still intense, valid, life-giving.

STONEWALK 2004
for Unknown Civilians Killed in War
Why I Walked for Peace
as the 3rd Anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks Approaches

by Phyllis Rodriguez

While delegates and protesters were preparing to converge on New York City, a non-partisan pilgrimage honoring the memory of Unknown Civilian Victims of War was working its way down from Boston. I joined it as a part of my struggle to prevent bitterness and hatred from clouding my view of humanity.

On August 25, Stonewalkers arrived at the Summerfield United Methodist Church in Pt. Chester and were greeted by the daycampers there. The next day, the 1400-lb. granite was pushed on its caisson to the United Methodist Church in Mamaroneck, and on the 27th to Fordham Prep High School in the Bronx. On Saturday, August 28, it was pushed to St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in Harlem, and on to Central Park on the 29th. At each overnight stop, a program was presented to the host community together with local peace groups. Along the pilgrimage, individuals would join in helping to move the stone and share their own stories with each other.

Organized by September 11 Families for Peaceful Tomorrows with The Peace Abbey of Sherborn, MA, Stonewalk 2004 sought to bring the message of non-violence to the table as a more effective response to terrorism than military retaliation. Participating in this walk gave me the opportunity to meet other parents and family members of victims of the 9/11 attacks who are of like mind. We greeted each other with empathy and understanding. We were able to comfort one another, not only for our personal losses, but because of our conviction that any kind of killing creates suffering for those left behind and cannot be condoned.

During the 20th century, 80% of wartime casualties were civilians. What will that figure be for the 21st century if we continue this way? War is not a solution I accept. If war and retaliation are so effective, why has Israel failed to stop attacks by Palestinian insurgents and extremists? If war and retaliation are so effective, why didn’t Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland continue fighting?

My son, Greg, and the three thousand others who died on 9/11/01 all happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, like millions around the world.. Some died because they worked on high floors of the World Trade Center, were attending meetings at Windows to the World, worked for the Pentagon, were traveling by air for business or pleasure, or were performing their duties as firefighters or police. No matter what they were doing that morning, the pain and grief experienced by all of us has been sharp. However, in some strange unpredictable way, we got strength from each other and our fundamental faith in humanity.

The loss of a child or loved one is not felt more keenly by Americans than by people in Sudan, Ivory Coast, Russia, Palestine, Israel, Afghanistan or Iraq. We Americans are not unique in our suffering or vulnerability to terrorist attacks, even homegrown ones like the Oklahoma City bombing. Those of us who value life and non-violent solutions to conflict are part of a worldwide movement of people who are refusing to accept the killing of countless innocent people and the brutalization of communities as "collateral damage". In my heart I know that there is no justification for bringing sorrow to people whose family, friends, teachers, neighbors are in the wrong place at the wrong time or who believe it is their duty to serve in the military.

There are two granite stones. One travels around the world to serve as a reminder of the true cost of war. The other resides at The Peace Abbey in Sherborn, MA, to serve as "a touchstone where prayers for peace are continually offered and commitments to the peace movement are strengthened. Together these stones link the suffering of innocent victims of armed conflict.

If stones could weep, surely these two would, as they pay respect to the Unknown Civilians Killed in War."